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Jokes > Men & Women    >> more jokes in this category - click here <<

As I've Matured...
As I've Matured...


I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jack asses.

I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I've learned that it is not what you wear, it is how you take it off.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

Pass this along to 5 friends...trust me, they'll appreciate it. Who knows, maybe something good will happen.

If not...tough.
 
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 -- Jokes in this category: 38 --  
below are more jokes in this category - click a title
   One wish     The pig and Mrs. Johnson    
   The Big Game     Romance Mathematics    
   MOM'S DICTIONARY     Misconception    
   Who's henpecked?     This is scary...    
   Men and Women quickies     more Men and Women quickies    
   Realistic Barbie dolls     Getting the bartender Hot ..    
   HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN     If Women Ruled The World    
   Uh oh ...     Why we love kids (?)    
   News Flash about Men's Health     To women everywhere - enough!    
   A genie story     Golfing with the wife...    
   Bridging the gap between the sexes     WHO WEARS THE PANTS?    
   Real Women     As I've Matured...    
   Things that men know.     Breasts & Veggies    
   Pregnant laughs     Boat Story    
   Tired of male-Bashing jokes     Eyesight is fine    
   An irishman     Simply irresistable    
   Quick, before it starts     Product safety alert    
   Thoughts about Men     THE LAST CHILD SUPPORT CHECK    
   What they mean when they say...     Marriage for the seniors    
          
 
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